Meditation is a real reward. A present from your self to your thoughts, physique and soul. My life has improved in so some ways since I began making day by day meditation part of my life. I can actually say that I’ve felt a shift, and I’m so grateful for it. I’ve additionally just lately been in a position to overcome an enormous worry of mine by way of meditation. My largest worry, to be precise; my worry of snakes.
For so long as I can bear in mind, I’ve been fearful of snakes. Every time I’ve come near it, whether or not it is in a zoo or an exhibit, I’ve run away as shortly as I can. Friends who personal pets like snakes? I do not even go to their homes. If I come throughout a photograph or video of a snake on social media, I shut the app and lock my display. I do NOT mess around with regards to snakes.
Two large snakes
My non secular journey has been a wild one and this expertise is not any exception. All my life I’ve been exploring and experimenting, and that is true to at the present time. I repeatedly apply meditation. During one of many classes, I used to be compelled to beat my worry.
I’ve but to interrupt by way of, as I nonetheless have some vitality imbalances in my physique. However, I’ve been steadily releasing myself from what not serves my highest self by way of meditation. Before this expertise, it was solely afterwards that I might see how a lot meditation helped me. After 5 months of day by day meditation, I used to be in a position to really feel the vitality balanced inside me, I used to be in a position to really feel the change because it occurred. This had by no means occurred earlier than and it was a really particular expertise. If you will have just lately began to meditate, or are planning to start out, I strongly encourage you to make it a day by day apply. You will profit greater than you possibly can think about!
On this explicit night, I began my meditation as ordinary. Because my base chakra was out of steadiness, I used to be unable to maneuver the feeling of throbbing down my hips. The related emotions of the bottom chakra embrace security, grounding and safety. It actually makes excellent sense the way in which issues turned out.
Once I reached the hips throughout my first spherical of vitality stream, I attempted very onerous to really feel the pulsation. I started to think about my physique from toes to hips in a vibrant, penetrating gentle. An indestructible gentle that might minimize by way of something, as a result of I needed so badly to transcend my hips, all the way in which to my pineal gland.
As I started to examine this gentle, two large snakes started to strategy me from the alternative facet of my toes. Instinctively, I started to fend them off. I used my physique’s gentle to dam them, throwing it straight at them as onerous as I might. It did not do a lot, they only stored sliding in direction of me. I stored throwing my gentle and vitality at them and ended up utilizing every thing in me to maintain them away. I screamed and gasped, directing my anger immediately at them. It did not matter, they did not surrender, they only stored coming. At that second I screamed my lungs out, threw my anger on the snakes, virtually prepared to provide it out and cry.
What if I give up?
I ended and thought for a second, “what if my surrender is the answer?” I’ve discovered to acknowledge the indicators from my greater self, and have discovered to really feel each emotion and each thought that comes up. So I let myself hear this query, however I pushed it away as quickly because it was mentioned. I simply could not give up. This would imply dying, I could not even course of the entire thought. To let these large snakes slide throughout me? To set them free? I would not stand an opportunity, I would not survive.
But the sensation would not budge. I knew my give up was the reply, however in my worry it wasn’t even an choice for me. For a second I made a decision to belief myself and let the snakes explode at me. More than half a second, it was simply an excessive amount of to deal with. I began to battle them off once more, my vitality was getting much less and fewer. Suddenly a narrative got here to my thoughts that I had learn up to now. I nonetheless held again the snakes, however on the identical time remembered this – my favourite story about Medusa. It says that Medusa’s snakes have been a present to her, to guard her from those that tortured, raped and abused her. As a sufferer of kid abuse, I affiliate her with this story.
When I remembered this, I started to doubt myself. “Am I wrong to be afraid? Could snakes be my protectors?” I began to unlearn a variety of my earlier methods of considering throughout my journey, so it wasn’t such a foolish query for me. I had already had some onerous truths thrown in my face thus far so I used to be critically doubting myself.
I made a decision to go for it once more, cease preventing and pop the hoses on prime of my thighshowever I instantly regretted my choice. As quickly as I felt them contact me I resumed the battle, I simply could not give up.
I’m afraid of my very own creativeness
I hadn’t been battling with them for very lengthy when one other picture got here to thoughts. The Kundalini Serpent. This means the supply of our vitality, the common vitality that lies inside every of us. At this level I noticed that I must give up to maneuver ahead.
Processing this thought, the belief that I might do no matter it takes to maneuver ahead, led me to a different realization; I’m afraid of my very own creativeness. I’ve by no means had a damaging expertise with a snake, if in any respect. I’ve solely ever seen them in photos or seconds at a time in shows. I’m not afraid of actual, actual snakes coming at me, however of a picture in my mind. I’m afraid of a chance. So scared that I’m prepared to make use of each ounce in me to battle them. Imaginary snakes.
Once I noticed this I smiled and virtually even laughed at myself. How silly of me to be afraid of an imaginary snake. So I set them free and allow them to do no matter they needed. They got here proper at me, devoured me and choked me again and again. In the meantime I used to be simply in the course of the chaos. So many various eventualities got here at me from each potential course, however all I did was sit. I felt like I used to be flinching each time they approached me, so I did my best possible to remain as nonetheless as potential. I simply let it go on and on. As uncomfortable as I felt, I noticed I might actually do that all day lengthy. Every second of every single day, and with out worry, I might survive this.
As quickly as I noticed this, the snakes started to reverse course. The two gigantic snakes started to slip throughout my physique, touring round and round. The two fused into one and parted once more. Then the 2 snakes have been gone, and as an alternative a thick band of small, skinny snakes started to wrap round my physique. I felt them transfer upwards from the toes. When they completed wrapping my legs, I started to really feel a buzzing pulse by way of my hips, abdomen, and coronary heart on the identical time. I smiled. I used to be so joyful, I might by no means have imagined going by way of one thing like this.
That night time I overcame my worry of snakes. What occurred subsequent is these two large snakes grew to become my motivation, they grew to become my purpose to do. When I start to fall quick, once I start to carry again out of worry, these snakes return. I not battle them, I do know I need to set them free. I allow them to do their factor and when they’re accomplished I’m going full throttle. Whatever it’s that I held again that did not get my full consideration, it is accomplished shortly and it is accomplished effectively. I’m not afraid and I’ve no purpose to carry again.
photograph by Chris Ensey on Unsplash
