There is a infamous and invalid notion that religious individuals have transcended heavy feelings akin to anger and anger. My reply to that’s: “We are all human. I’m not insensitive to the human situation. None of us are!”
Like everyone else, I get angry and resentful and sometimes I find it hard to let go of heavy emotions because I’m stuck in the story and don’t recognize the patterns that are playing out in my life.
I recently had an experience where I was resentful and hurt. I was aware of the feelings, but they were so loaded with emotion that I was unable to bend and receive the gift of wisdom of that moment. With each passing day, the feelings grew more intense and irrational. I tried to keep it together by pushing the emotions down and pretending everything was fine. But they had to be released, and the usual tools offered no insight or relief.
At my emotional peak, I began to notice how quickly I became irritable. I would dish out little digs to relieve myself of dumping my frustrations on those around me.
As all this was happening, I observed myself and noticed that holding on to this anger limited my energy and took a physical toll on my body. My energy was low, I had digestive problems and I developed a rash.
I knew I had to do something, so I wrote my story. I wrote about the situation that caused this event; I’ve added details and how I experienced it. I analyzed what I wrote to see what parts of the story I had seen as facts that might not have been facts at all. I looked to see what assumptions I was making about the other person regarding their intent and actions. I also put myself in their shoes and discovered that their efforts were not about me.
It was a huge emotional mess in my diary and while it only eased my emotional state, I was able to find the truth in my words. It wasn’t just validating my feelings and actions; it was deeper than that.
The truth was that I didn’t feel like I was being seen and heard. I did not feel that my colleagues supported me.
My interior little one expressed itself by handing out the little digs. It was her manner of kicking and screaming for consideration.
It was additionally the spur I wanted to do some interior little one work and follow forgiveness.
I sat in silent meditation and listened to my inner child, allowing the pain of feeling unvalidated or feeling recognized as a worthy person to be released and flow. When the feelings subsided, I asked what I could do to help, and the answer was, “Help me forgive.”
I dove into my toolbox and determined to make use of the forgiveness train under.
Start by visualizing your self head to head with the particular person you need to forgive, trying deeply into the eyes.
Repeat the next statements out loud till you’re feeling the love flowing between the 2 of you earlier than shifting on to the subsequent assertion.
1. ______________ (title) I’ve launched my anger in the direction of you as a result of of_____________ (occasion).
2. _______________ (title) I let go of my resentment in the direction of you for (occasion).
3. _______________ (title) I forgive you for _______________ (occasion).
4. _______________ (title) Thank you for _____________ (the lesson of), I really like you.
5. _______________ (title) I launch you from all debt incurred for _______________ (occasion).
6. _______________ (title) I depart you free to maneuver on in your life in complete and full love.
7. I now transfer ahead in my life in complete and full love.
8. I really like you, might your soul be full of love, gentle and laughter as you progress ahead.
After completing this exercise I felt better. However, I started to feel guilt shooting through my stomach. I felt terrible for the way I acted and the words I said. I was ashamed of being in the heavy emotions and letting them get the best of me.
So I stood in front of the mirror, stared into my own eyes, and repeated the exercise, invoking self-forgiveness and self-compassion. I reminded myself it’s not always easy, but it’s easy to make mistakes while caught up in emotions, and I’ll be fine. Before I left, I looked deep into my eyes and said, “I really like you and you’re value it.” I felt a shift and knew my interior little one was smiling at me.
Forgiveness, compassion and love are not only for others, but also for YOU. It’s about letting go and widening through which the feeling of inner peace comes in. 🕊