First, let’s outline what we imply once we discuss compatibility: “Compatibility is a natural, effortless way to interact and feel a connection with another person,” Licensed Relationship Therapist Racine Henry, Ph.D., LMFTlately advised mbg. It shouldn’t be essential to be comparable to be appropriate, she notes, and in reality, compatibility typically stems from two individuals having a mechanism for coping with battle within the areas the place they differ.
“Compatibility in a relationship comes from there being a complementary relationship,” she explains, however that is additionally the place issues get difficult.
According to Henry, simply because two persons are appropriate or have traits that complement one another “doesn’t always mean it’s a healthy or positive complementarity.” Sometimes two individuals complement one another in a manner that might not be in one of the best curiosity of 1 or each individuals.
For instance, she says, “There may be someone dominant who finds a partner who is passive.” This will doubtless assist them get via battle – the dominant particular person will merely stroll over the passive particular person, who will in flip agree and associate with their accomplice’s choices. This signifies that the connection may final, however that does not essentially imply it has ought to.
There are many examples of unhealthy compatibility: narcissists typically search for echoists, their self-effacing opposites, from whom they’ll extra simply take benefit. Someone who does not give a lot in relationships can do properly with somebody who does not ask for a lot, masking the selfishness of the previous and the abandonment problems with the latter.